Reflection

Inspiration can come from the strangest places.

Over the past few weeks, I've been very lucky to spend some time with my best friend, (whom I only see once a year or so on average), have found a few old friends online, have tried to spend as much quality time with the family as I can, and I've been learning so many new things.

Since I've moved, things have definitely been more stressful in my world. I knew the new position would be a challenge... and that's a big part of why I wanted it. So with that, I've done quite a bit of learning on my own, and I've been fortunate enough to have the company pay for a few formal learning experiences too. With all that time I've spent learning, of course, that's been time away from the to do list. Projects have been building up, and here I am in the middle of crunch time. I have to deliver, but I realize that sometimes I love my job a bit too much. I have to remember to balance my dedication to my work with the more important dedication to my family.

Spending time or catching up with old friends has helped me realize that I am still a person of my own, not wholly defined by what I do. That's a pretty big pill to swallow, but I'm working on it. I've seen too many relationships fall apart lately, hearts broken, and worlds changed because we sometimes forget to take a moment to be who we are. We get wrapped up in what we have to get done, we get swept away in what we're expected to do, and we all too often forget to spend any time focusing on the "me" of it. You can't be the world to others if you forget what you have to offer.

Yesterday I spent a few hours catching up with an old friend, and I have to say I came out of the conversation feeling, well... indescribable. For a writer, that's an odd sensation. (But then again, I haven't been writing so much lately, so perhaps that's why I can't articulate my thoughts around it now.) After not speaking for around ten years or so, I wasn't sure what to expect from the conversation. I would say I was pleasantly surprised, but I wasn't really surprised, to find our discussion to be very open, honest, and warm. We chatted about the way things are now, a bit about how things used to be, and who we are as people. How often do you have that kind of discussion with anyone, let alone someone you haven't spoken to in so long? It was definitely a refreshing conversation. A defining conversation. I'm very thankful to have the opportunity to have this friend back in my life, even if it's only through the realm of social media. He is going through some rough times he doesn't deserve, so my heart hurts a bit for what he's going through. Putting aside the situation he's in, I sensed a bit of optimism. Through the pain, I still saw a great person with much to offer. I just hope he finds his way through it, and I hope to be a friend by his side.

Although some of the topics were as far from sunshine and rainbows as you can get, I still came out of it feeling inspired. Inspired to be a better person (again), inspired to be a better friend, and inspired to be a better mother and wife.